Over the course of 15 years, I’ve interviewed hundreds of entrepreneurs and their parents to find out how they raised them.
On the whole, these families are very happy with their children’s results. Parents say their adult children are not only financially successful, but also generous and kind. But looking back now, many parents tell me that there are many things they wish they had known while their children were growing up.
Don’t miss: The ultimate guide to earning passive income online
This is not the same as their regret. However, the parents told me that, with this knowledge, they may have focused on different things or focused less on what could become a bright future for their children.
Here are the four things they will go back and tell themselves as young parents.
1. “Don’t panic if they don’t finish college.”
Most parents I spoke to believe that a college degree is necessary for a successful career.
Entrepreneur Matt Mullenweg, founder of WordPress, launched the company while he was a student at the University of Houston and dropped out to run it. Today, WordPress is just one part of Automattic, the global software company led by Mullenweg.
Thomas Vu’s parents wanted him to become a doctor. Instead, Fu dropped out of UC San Diego to join Electronic Arts’ first training class. He became the lead producer of League of Legends, Head of Creative at Riot Games, and executive producer of the Emmy-nominated hit show “Arcane.”
In hindsight, they say they didn’t need to worry so much. Their children didn’t have a college degree, but in the end, it didn’t matter. They followed their dreams and achieved them, and their skill, dedication and conviction were more than enough.
2. “Their passion is not a distraction. It may have more impact than you think.”
The parents of famous director John Cho told me that at the age of 10 he was fascinated by storytelling and film making. They were concerned that his passion might be a distraction from the real job and responsibilities. But it’s hard to argue with the global success of Cho’s latest film, “Wicked.”
Now, they realize that Cho spending those 10,000 hours doing what he loved, and was good at, was worth it. Many parents I meet feel the same way. They realize that their children’s passion has helped them succeed in their careers, Even if their children’s lives don’t look exactly like they envisioned.
Many future entrepreneurs played sports extensively and none of them became professionals. Their parents tell me they worry that the time their children spend on the playground instead of in the classroom is a waste.
Eric Ryan, founder of Method, Ollie and Willie, told me he was a bad student, but he loved sailing. There he learned valuable skills such as resilience, determination, perseverance and confidence, all of which shaped him into the businessman he is today. His parents didn’t have to worry that all the hours he spent in the water would prevent his professional success – quite the opposite.
3. “Be more open about money.”
Many of these entrepreneurs and leaders credit their parents with teaching them the value of the dollar. So I was surprised that so many parents said they wished they were more open about their family’s finances and used it better as a teaching tool.
Some parents have told me that they want to involve their children in financial decision-making, whether it’s budgeting, purchasing big items like a car, or investing in the stock market. Others tell me they wish they had their kids open a bank account or get a credit card in high school.
For example, they wished they had been more honest when they were getting a new car, discussing renting versus buying, how much it would cost to get the car, and trade-offs with other things they wanted. They believe that teaching their children how to spend money would have helped when they started their companies.
4. “Enthusiastically celebrate their failures as well as their successes.”
Many parents of highly successful adults I spoke to said they were careful not to scold or punish their children when they failed. However, many also told me that they wished they had gone a step further.
Parents wish they had known to celebrate failure as much as successes, because they realized that you only take the kind of creative risks that lead to innovation if you understand that failure is how you learn and grow—and that your defeats should fuel your next success.
They saw their children’s failures as more important to their development than their easy victories.
This is something I would also tell myself as a young parent. Now, Billie Jean King’s motto is one I return to often, and pass on to my adult children: “It’s not failure, it’s feedback.”
Margot McCall Bisnow Writer, mother, and education expert. She spent 20 years in government, including as Commissioner of the Federal Trade Commission and Chief of Staff of the President’s Council of Economic Advisers, and has spent the past 10 years speaking to parent groups about raising children who are courageous, creative, confident, resilient, and ambitious entrepreneurs. Joy and Purpose, author “Raising Entrepreneurs: How to Help Your Kids Achieve Their Dreams.” Follow her on Instagram @margotbisnow.
Do you want to make extra money outside of your day job? Enroll in the CNBC online course How to earn passive income online Learn about common passive income sources, tips for getting started, and real-life success stories.
